I Am So Blessed!

Despite every test I fail, and all my other crazy mess,
I feel so blessed!
I cannot ever remember NOT talking to God!
To some that may seem a little odd.
My first memory is of me, looking in the mirror and talking to Him!
I guess even at the age three, littleblackgirl
I was able to recognize the God in me.
I would speak to Him in my play!
I always knew how to pray,
Yet, not really knowing how to believe.
Faith is really hard to grasp!
Its like hope, absent luck, without any sight,
Of knowing how things will come to past.
So when I had my child young and out of wedlock,
Had to face my family and relay,
I got pregnant so I guess I’m caught,
Living my secret teenage life,
Knowing it’s wrong, pretending like it’s right,
Facing the issues of being married, young and dumb,
Burying my mother way too young,
Taking in her children with no real job,
Going back to college despite those odds.
Living my nightmare on crack street,
Working two jobs just to make ends meet.
Pursuing and obtaining a Master’s degree,
All while burying the elders in my family.
Then raising my children and watching them take flight.
Still praying to God that they would be all right.
Running and hiding to protect their life,
Making mistakes in the decisions, when God told me right!
Then setting off for destination unknown, searching for my destiny.
Absent my friends, loved ones, and family.
Looking at the present and all of my mess,
I continue to say, “I AM SO Blessed!
Grasping at Faith and waiting for the increase!
Not understanding why even I believe,
Except for looking at this list of all He has done for Me!

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