Oh thank the Lawd, I got a Job!
But at the end of the day, I feel like I got robbed!
Not by the dysfunctional people I see,
But by the people that are suppose to be paying me!
I reviewed my paycheck and it don’t add up,
Cause for every cent I earn, I owe them two bucks!
A penny for your thoughts? Sista I can’t afford to pay,
I gotta buy folders, staples, a battery for the clock, & my paper supply is short,
My mission is critical, I cannot abort!
Danger Will Robinson! Danger Indeed!
I do not have the money to purchase tools I need.
There are children literally dying in the street!
Mothers using the food stamps to purchase their mental treats,
Fathers sneaking in bedrooms where they should not be!
I am paid to protect them, but these fools keep nickling and diming me!
Shorting me on my milage and demanding too much paper work,
to pay me for what I earned, and already spent!
I am worried about these children, but I can’t even pay my rent!
Never paying me for my time or my ability to save lives.
They just keep reaching out and stealing my nickels & dimes.
I am on a mission to provide safety, well being and permanency,
Working with one hand, cause I need the other to stop them from robbing me!
The DEVIL is busy, working a full time job,
Teaching DFCS to write policies to steal money.
Aggravated robbery! Trickery! Thievery!
A bad investment, my social work degree, when I divide it
by student loans, subtract my rent, erase all the money at DFCS I spent!
Thank GOD that I have a heart, cultivated my skills and made them an art.
Thinking past the assignment, and made it a ministry,
Knowing I could never be paid for my worth!
Squeezing my pennies until it hurts!
Protecting children and providing permanency!
All the while DFCS is robbing me!
Early in the morning I put breakfast on your table,
Now that chick sure aint me!
Every meal we eat is in front the TV,
I am the poor, the whichamickfricken needy.
Tired of y’all sangin these love songs that don’t even relate to me.
Ya sneak up to my door my late at night, wit a chicken dinner and a sac of weed.
In those late night hours, you love my blonde weave
And how everything I got on is in camouflage pink.
Funny how when the sun rises,
Pink is the color of the skin you seek.
Where do you think I got my pride?
How do you think there is a dance in my stride?
Part of the radiance in my shine,
Comes from the whispers of you tellin me, I am fine!
With my legs spread wide and my back arched low,
Your stories build me up to be a Queen.
But when the sun comes up, it’s a different story you sing.
Somehow I transform into that hood-rat chick and crack fiend.
Those voices from the children you hear, are your seed!
Lost in why they can’t see santa,
Trapped in between, drive by shootings, & liquor store lootings, Wondering why they only see a man in the house at night.
In the wee hours of morning rise, they close their eyes,
Praying for a father to rescue them.
I pray for a lover of my mind and my thighs.
Wishing you could see that I decorate myself with pride.
My need of finances does not kill my creativity,
My love of community or responsibility.
You really just took me young,
Left me with your young, and I made do!
While you painted a story that is only part of the truth.
The love song you should all sang is, How I made it over!
Then take a picture of my pink thong ass and it put it on the cover!
Yes. Yes! Pucker up and kiss this lover!
Cuz every Ghetto rock star, rise of a welfare mother,
Older momma that rocks the stage with a degree,
That over-comer is me!
Singing my story, proud of food stamps and income budgeted rent.
It starts with a GED, spins into a master’s degree.
Encores with written books, movie deals and paychecks earned.
Birthed music writers, and basketball players who shoes, you buy!
In every story lives lies and truths, and I am living proof!
Yet sometimes in my mind, that blonde weave, ghetto chick
still exist and she screams with discomfort from the comments
of those who don’t understand the bunions on her feet.
Overworked and tired of the hits,
She wishes the world would just, kiss her ghetto grits!
I fell down and broke my poetry.
Words and rhymes falling out my knees.
Didn’t know that it was letters I bleed.
Stop trying to help me up.
Please pick the W up!
I need it to express how I feel.
Cause the F and the U took a very hard spill.
The BIG G.O.D is always around,
Today He’s angry about the words that I left scattered all over the ground.
Magic Spells, and fairy tales please turn this situation around.
Help clean up the letters leaking all over the ground!
Everyone is reading my private thoughts,
Sorry that it hurts your feelings, but what is that bump on your nose?
Don’t get mad at me!
Everyone is thinking what you just read!
I fell and broke my poetry wide open,
Slow songs slid out, and rap songs started a fight,
Two toes let rock roll loose, and don’t judge me!
What would we see, if someone broke open your poetry?!
The Devil tryna snatch my seed!
This dude is a fool, indeed!
Don’t y’all know, I prayed over him when he was young?
Asked God to break the generational curses, before his life had begun.
I will not look at what life has manifested.
Taken in his stupid choices, as if I am being tested.
My faith rest in God’s promises!
Satan tryna steal my peace, but I won’t let you rob me of this!
I just hold on to God’s Precious words. . .
Don’t need a lot to get me thru, I just recite what I heard. . .
“And it came to pass!”
How many times was it said, in His precious word?
Not focused on how it reads,
There is a verb and a noun,
Just waiting on my God, to turn this situation around!
How many scriptures did it set up?
How many fools did it bring down?
A few simple promises, many a prayer, a vision in the night, a prophet declared,
“It came to pass!”
452 times, for those of y’all in need? 452 times is how many it says, “It came to pass,”
I just need one, to show up in my life!
Understanding the power in His word, watching the story unfold,
Wondering why that Devil is, so dag on bold!
Just a test of my faith, and the building of a testimony,
Praise in mouth, dance in my feet, prayer in my heart, Seed on my mind,
Each day that goes by, seems like a dag on long time,
The moment it happens, I’m sure I will rejoice,
Shouting, “he finally made, the most obvious choice!”
“And It Came to Pass!”
Standing in line at the check out, I observed a woman pull her cart up behind me. She was smiling and simply full of joy! The clerk greeted her with a, “Hey girl! How have you been?” She tossed a hip and stated, “Fine!” Still ringing my items, he replied, “You certainly are fine! Look how much weight you’ve loss!” I believed she danced a bit as she moved back and forth and screamed, “I lost 50lbs.” Everyone in ear shot smiled, especially the clerk. Although no one commented, the energy in the area was filled with happiness for her success. Her approximately 10 year- old son piped up, “I lost weight too!” As if he wanted to consume some of that unspoken attention. I turned slightly to glance at the woman, mainly because loosing weight is a constant struggle in my life and I know what hard work it is to loose 50lbs! What I saw was a still slightly overweight Beauty Queen, excited about her accomplishment! I thought, Fifty pounds! Amazing! She must feel great!”
Thinking about the weight she lost and the journey she still had ahead of her, my voice of inspiration spoke. “What about the weight of Sin?” Sin lays on our hearts, minds, and physical bodies much like that weight the woman carried around. Most of the world cannot see our battle scars of sin as easily as the bulges and pudginess that comes from overeating, but the weight is still there, separating us from the light.
The crime is increased when we realized that Jesus bared all of that weight so that we might live free. I wonder what would have happen if the people who stood around that cross and watch my savior crucified would have begun to cry out, “No beat me! I’ll take that flogging! No let me carry the cross! Put the thistles of crown on my head!” I believe the story would be less about a Savior and more about the generosity of mankind.
The atrocity is that while we yet believe that he died on the cross for all of our sins, we continue to saunter around with the weight of sin! Stripping the power from the cross we choose to be seduced by death. Appearing like an out of shape fat lady, dressed in a skirt two sizes two small, shoes overstuffed with what used to be petite feet, as if the cut off of circulation in our toes is not enough to signal that the shoe is too small. Face painted like an Easter Egg, deceiving only ourselves and pretending to the world we have it all together. Jesus worked it out so that we can “Shed the Weight” and even better, never put it on! Leave the weight at the cross, He has already, carried, crucified, buried and risen for our sins!
HE HAS RISEN SO THAT WE MAY NEVER FALL!
May every reader benefit from this blog, but today, I am writing to me!
Oh my God, What’s wrong with me.
I thought I just saw a moving tree!
Roots unplugged, walking around in my Gym!
Picking up the weights like they belong to Him!
Y’all, this ain’t no joke!
This brother looks like a mighty black oak!
You know my thoughts, “Run Forest Run!”
The civil war of nature has just begun.
Or maybe the war is only in my thoughts.
This mind of mine, that is going insane.
Placing these images inside my brain.
Where is the scripture that says,“Thou Shalt Not Lust!”
Bow my head and pray, “In God I Will Trust!
Lawd! Help me look straight head,
Hide these trees inside my head,
Chase the thoughts away of buying a King size bed!
I just wanna work out!
Exercise my demons, pay for the things I ate.
It so hard to concentrate, surrounded by “timber!”
Yes! I got a call, as I hold back my game,
Preventing them trees from falling at my feet,
Grasping the flesh, that I try to burn.
I seen a Cypress, a Blue Ash, and a run-a-way bush!
Of course that made me just wanna push,
Another mile out on the treadmill,
Cock my head to the left, to glance again at his frame.
Yup its a tree in deed, strong bark, branches balked up,
Shoulders the perfect place to build my nest.
Arms, the safest place to come in from the rain!
Legs like trunks, I could pack away all my winter thoughts,
What just happen? Please erase those thoughts,
Did he see me stare?
I will just pretend that’s my running glare.
I now understand the temptation of Eve,
Wanting to take a bite from the fruit of the tree!
It’s Morning Dew,
Wetting the surfaces of all that is new!
Displaying the secrets of what He has called you to do!
Opening the door to a wet Welcome sign!
Reading to the Universe that today is your time.
Signs of disaster and signs of Faith!
Either way it goes, you’re entering the ring!
Faith will have you standing still,
Flesh will tell you it’s your first kill.
Fear will paralyze you while the world tears you apart,
Emotions unleashed will have you ripping out hearts.
Ears burning, pride shinning, vanity fading, peace swindling,
So I pray!
Strengthen by His voice, guided by His choice, I open the door.
Stepping onto that welcome mat, feeling the freshness of the dew,
Breathing in the breath of life, everything looks new.
Good Morning Earth! I come to collect!
I can tell by the smile in his eyes.
He holds my gaze like I have him hypnotize.
He is into me you see!
He calls me every morning before the birds began to sing.
He is so faithful to this task my alarm clock has become his ring.
He is into me you see!
Always watching, forever talking, about the joy I bring.
Until, I denied him the pleasure of me, waiting for him to supply a ring.
The smile faded and his eyes began to wander,
Toward other pretty girls and how they sauntered.
I overslept the next day,
Without the morning call to start my day.
I understand now that he being into me,
Is not the same as intimacy.
He just wanted a private session,
Absent of God’s blessing and a ceremony.
So I am still in search of the one, that is into me.
Please put a post up.
Like a posted note.
Just show up, with instant words to lighten the day.
Or, enlighten minds on what you have to say.
Let them read your words and entertain their thoughts.
Let them glance through your secret thoughts.
Post a comment of what they felt.
Or hit the like button so you know they passed by.
Maybe smile then escape your page dot com.
Never knowing they have come and now they are gone.
But your thoughts remain posted up in this place.
Sometimes appearing to just take up space of words left unsaid.
But go ahead!
Put a post up.
Share a vision or a dream.
Align words that others may think.
Inking the secret thoughts, others dare not breathe.
Fairy tales of Gods wearing pink panties,
Pricing letters, piercing hearts, pouring out lies,
pleasing eyes, and priceless surprises in posted notes!